Follow this link to see a close cousin http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Fiat_500_front_20071020.jpg … pix of the real Luigi will be posted soon.

Why a Fiat500 you ask?

It is a combination of that old leather and gasoline smell, and the way it putt, putt, putters along the winding roads of Orvieto.

As Tony says, those in a 500 by definition are not in a hurry but we are busy enjoying the wind in our hair and the scent of the country air. Yes, Luigi is a convertible!

I can’t wait for Spring!

This is a good thing I guess … gives us some quiet time to reflect on why we live in the Bel Paese. Why is that again?

It goes very well with peccorino romano and spicy olives cured in olive oil, garlic, fennel and hot peppers. The honey guy told me all about the hive virus too. It seems Italy (aka Monsanto - Berlusconia) does not care at all about this trade being wiped out. Mr. Honey had 250 hives of which only 30 survived this year due to the chemicals etc. used by farmers. The bees absorb the chemical, get sick and fly away to die. Altruistic souls that they are; they do not want to sicken others back at the hive

The Romanian and French govts. have banned the use of these chemicals, but the Itailan govt. has banned the use for two years only. Things that make you go hmmm.

And, it went downhill from there. But, Autumn is in the air and soon, I will be able to light my camino and smell that lovely profume of burning wood, mingled with fresh, clean Orvieto air.

Stay tuned, when i am in a better mood to write about Autumn …

What if someone had talked to your mother like that?

Why don’t you start insulting Rita Montalcino now too, or Mother Theresa (RIP)?

You should have known that Rosie would have the last wise words stating without missing a beat I am a woman who is not available to you [the Prime Minister]. Zing! Ka ching. You cannot buy respect man.

And, while I am giving you unsolicited advice, stop sending those spitting, hyper-active apologists on l’Anno Zero.

These people will be assumed to be your dear friends — and as we say in inglese, birds of a feather … And, if that Ghedini were a bird, he would be a cross between a crow and a pidgeon on crack, not marijuana, which should mellow a person. Del Pietro can be forgiven for not knowing which drugs do what, given his mani are puliti

In retrospect, the Avvocato was so annoying, I cannot think of a bird that does him justice — he is more like a cross between a mosquito and a horse fly … Or, what are those nasty prehistoric looking bugs called calabrone (I have never seen these in the US.)

Okay, time to take the doggie out … faites de beaux reves!

And why shouldn’t Patricia be in politics when there is already an ex-porn star in the Italian Parliament?

And, not to get off point, but isn’t there a senator for life who was accused of ordering a hit on a journalist?

On another note, and speaking of lewd and lascivious persons, I am really irked by the Roman Polanski hoopla … mostly due to the apologists for rape. If there were an Oscar for apologizing for crimes, that dolt Whoopie Goldberg’s comments would win best supporting rapist. She claimed on the scintillating show The View that the rape/sodomy/drugging of a 13 year old was not a rape-rape.

Whoopie, you ignorant turd shouldn’t you be practicing your lines for Sister Act Nine or something?

I can’t believe the volumes of VIPS and Hollywood morons who are defending this vecchio bavoso with lame lines like — we’re good friends and our daughters play together and he is a great director and maybe he can help my lackluster career for defending him.

And, for all you non-lawyers out there, it just does not matter that the victim wants this case to go away and has forgiven Polanski (though did he ever apologize?). The decision to prosecute an accused criminal rests with the state. Ergo, while it is quite altruistic of the victim to bury the hatchet, it is not relevant. Likewise, it is irrelevant how the victim feels about Polanski escaping from sentencing and hiding out in France all these years.

Run Roman Run … run directly to jail: do not pass Gstaad.

And, another thing, I did not think The Piano deserved an Oscar.

Now, it seems during my absence, two valid comments were submitted to my blog by persons who are not relatives or childhood friends.

Thus, out of courtesy to these two persons who have nothing better to read than me, I believe their comments merit a detailed response:

First, hello Monica! No, sorry, I spent most of my 5 months in Milan in a vodka induced haze hanging out with Nico the Albanian mobster and his cousins at The River. Did you meet my pal Kristen and I? Did we learn you busy-ness English? And, you eventually fled the Bel Paese I note?

And, to the gentleman who prefers to watch Silvio perform over the rest of the T & A on screen which RAI and Mediaset attempt to pass off as TeeVu, I used to agree with you a few years back.

But, now Sil seems somewhat off his game & rocker in general, and well maybe rapidly becoming a has been … sort of like W. in his final months, but definitely W. was more confused, and less angry.

Focus Sil! we know you still have some great foot in mouth one-liners left in you … you haven’t really insulted anyone in a long time…how about Sarkozy and that Prima Donna wife, Ccccar-Lah? Maybe you could have a volcano party and invite the Sarkos?

If you need my pro bono help, I am very good at party planning — in fact, maybe my Albanian disco owning pals will cater and bring a DJ … letmeknow eh.

As the professor was speaking, a young monkey scampered across the golf course just behind the podium.

Nature can be cruelly ironic, n’est-ce pas?